i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
