I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
