omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
