I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
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fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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