guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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