Christians are straight up FREAKS
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
