"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
