I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
