Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize