I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
