Christians are straight up FREAKS
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
