garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
