Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
