3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
