I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
