I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
