did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I need moral support for this bender
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
