Are we in a gay sports bar?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize