look no pants
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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