So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I have already put on my inside pants.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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