K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Let's get the cat blown out
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
