She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
