if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
