problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
