U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
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