I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
