What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Randomize
