she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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