Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
