spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
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