Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
