We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
