haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
