i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
