ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
