Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
