Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
