Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize