We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he thought i was a dude.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize