Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize