WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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