what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
