honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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