Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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