What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
