drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
