Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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