Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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