So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
