I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
