I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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