i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
