your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
