god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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