You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize