YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
