ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
