Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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