I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
