I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
