I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize