But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize