Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
