It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
