Where are you?
In a non slutty way
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
