if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
