i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
