Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
