The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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