But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
