I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
