I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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