is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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