I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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