Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
